On The Move

What else would you expect from me after 5 months of living in one place?

Destination location as of May 22: Watauga, TN

It will just be a short little jaunt of over 2200 miles from where I am currently located. 

I have accepted a position as a lead counselor for Camp Ta-Pa-Win-Go that will go thru August. Plans after that are TBA. However, I do know that I am NOT coming back to Montana!!! Ever. A little bit of what I'll be doing this summer and how it fits into my career goals: the ministry in my particular position is that of being available to serve others.  As a lead counselor, I am a support system to the other counselors. I am there for whatever they need, whether it is a personal emotional struggle or a problem with a camper. I am excited in the aspect that I get to mentor 8 senior staff girl counselors!  My passion is pouring into the lives of women and young people, so it a puzzle piece fit. 

The burning question in everyone's mind right now: WHY?! Besides the obvious that nothing about my job has cracked up to what it was supposed to be (i.e. I was completely lied to about my schedule, what my position entailed, etc.) there are a few more factors. I have been under a heavy spiritual oppression where I am now. Not only because I have been unable to get involved in a church due to my schedule, but also because the association of people I have found to hang out with do not share a lot of my same fundamental beliefs. And thus are not edifying to my spiritual walk. I am also incredibly "homesick" in that the midwest is where my family and friends are. Yeah, I have the strength to stick it out here, but why fight something that doesn't require a battle? I'm not happy here. I figure that you get to live life once - so you might as well not spend it being intentionally miserable. While I do believe that I had a calling to home here initially, for some reason God chose to make it a very short season. I have no regrets about it and don't believe that I was misled in making that choice, but the fruit of this chapter is something that remains to be seen. Until then, off to the next adventure!

Three cheers to packing up boxes, loading a U-haul, and driving HOURS by myself! Yet again :-)

Official resignation date: April 14

The Epiphany of Laughing

I hear the compliment, "You have a beautiful smile," a lot. Another phrase that gets coined to me is, "Every time I look at you, you're laughing." 

I had an epiphany tonight- I don't laugh as much as I used to. Not in the same way. There's a lot of things that I still find funny; because life is funny! And it's always better to laugh than cry. Finding the humor in a situation doesn't always make it better, but it sure doesn't make it worse. Life is to hard not to enjoy the laughs in the little things, silly sayings, unfortunate moments, or even embarassing situations. 

Some might attribute my lack of laughter to tough surrounding circumstances lately. But it's not just that. Why do I smile a lot? What is it about me that people label as "bubbly"? I'm convinced it's a trait that I was born with, but it didn't come fully alive until it was fed with Miracle Grow (a.k.a. amazing people who brought it out).  I miss the people that bring out the bubbly, happy-go-lucky, always-laughing SheriLynne. My joy is not dependent on their presence, but they bring out the overall best in me, which makes my spirit bubble constant happiness. 

Happiness is based on circumstances, joy is a state of your heart. Every Christian growth book will tell you that. I don't disagree. But God also gives us the emotion of happiness! Happiness is inappropiate when it's our goal, but not when it's God's momentary gift. In fact, I like to open and enjoy it! 

My girls at work will often tease me, "Is EVERYTHING funny to you?!" or the most frustrating, "You can't even get mad at us without laughing!" So I know that part of me, my joyful spirit, is still there - it just feels suppressed without it's Miracle Grow. 

A Little Time and a Long Ways

Why so long? My poor blog has been neglected lately. But I have some very good reasons which I'm most certain you are dying to hear. 

1. Sick hard drive (I am still a devoted Mac girl, but after only a 1 1/2yr life on my MacBook, I was a little less than disappointed). I lost everything. Lesson 1, BACK UP! They all say it, but I guess I just never really did it. 

2. Crazy work life. After all the fluctuating hours and stability to-do with my job, I have finally been put back to full time. Full time+ some with less than full time pay. Am I going to complain? No. I have a job for now. That's the "to be thankful" point. 

3. New entrepreneurial efforts. Having butted heads with some very successful people here in the Flathead valley, I am taking on the task of helping them to expand their businesses, and delve into bettering other's lives. It's exciting, challenging, and hopefully - life changing. 

4. Relationships. That's more complicated than is even worthy of an explanation. 

5. Reading. Which I really love to do. I had made a commitment to read the Twilight series awhile back if you remember. My consensus is that after completing book one, the rest is not really worth my time. Sorry to all you fans out there; I just think you could do a lot better. 

6. "Thinking time" to process life.  A lot has been happening lately. It's a good thing I didn't set expectations for this new year because they'd all be broke by now. There is just no road map for life and the turns it takes. 

Now to story time. Because I am sometimes labeled a blonde, I occasionally find the need to fulfill everyone's expectations associated with that label. Such was the case two weekends ago when I was driving around in the po-dunk town of Whitefish after an ice storm. 20 yards in front of me was a car stopped trying to make a left hand turn. I tapped my brakes to try and get traction to stop. No such luck. My defensive driving decided within inches of rear-ending the guy in front of me that I should veer off into the snowbank on the righthand side. And my quick instincts saved me a ticket and a lot of expense. However, the blonde moment comes when I realize that I am sitting vertical on a 3 foot snow bank sheeted over in ice, completely stuck, and i start LAUGHING! The tow truck had to come and throw me a hook to get me un-stuck while the police directed traffic. It was slightly embarrassing, but I handled it all with good humor, including the tow bill. I just wonder, where is the magnet that attracts these unique pickled situations to me? 

I'm a little homesick this week. Which is encompassing not just my family, but my friends that bear a striking family-like resemblance. Nebraska, Kansas, Alabama, Colorado... why do you all have to be so far away? Here's a thought - come visit me!!! 

Go Back to Your Habitat

If you hunt, please come to Whitefish, Montana. If you have friends that hunt, bring them along. I personally would like to learn just so I could shoot some of the deer myself. They think they are a part of civilization around here, and possess no concept of the word danger. Not only can you practically walk right up to one and pet it, but you can be driving on the main highway and run right into one. I would know because I did it. I love nature, and I enjoy the animals that are a part of it, but not to the extent of it costing me money to repair the damages they cause. THAT is disturbing. It is also sickening to watch a maimed animal croak to its death. I do not want to repeat that experience; I try not to be paranoid, but I am... just a little. 

To complete the story, I ran into a deer (one of three) standing in the middle of the highway at 7am on Wednesday. I did see them in time to slam on my brakes despite the fog, but with a momentum from going 65mph I still ended up hitting the thing. The miraculous part is that my baby car was unharmed. Thank you, God.  I cannot even say it enough ways. Wow. Cute on the outside, sturdy and feisty on the inside - that is why I love my Mazda. And it totally fits her name, Lena, which means illustrious and feisty. She also did just fine when I had a near encounter with a mountain lion on the road this week. Which, I will say, was awesome to see! 

A message to the wildlife of Montana: if you could stay in your neck of the woods it would be much appreciated. 

This has not been my favorite of weeks by any stretch of the imagination, but when the sky does fall, it does it well. It truly is amazing how financial, personal, family, and work situations all surface with crises at the same time.  But it never ceases to amaze me that no matter how much or how awful stuff gets, it's never to much to handle. I always know I'll get through. Or more like, God will carry me through.