When Life Hurts

It's so clique. Everyone know life is hard. People from centuries past through today broach the subject. There are self-help books on how to cope with the pain, heal from loss, and move on with one's life. There are counselors and those who love us that offer advice and support. Yet somehow no one has the "right" answers even still on what to do with the pain that comes from simply existing. It's an age old problem with millions of hypotheses. But no box-pat answer or solution.

It seems pointless to address it for all the above reasons, but words for me are a way of processing. Change is often an instigator of hurt in life. It can come in the form of losing a loved one - either through death or other causes. It can be the pivot trigger in a seemingly positive addition to life, like a marriage or birth of a child. Or something as small as a job change, move, degree switch, or the discontinuation of a favorite product line :). What might seem trivial to one person is the end-all for another. And no one can ever fully know or empathize with another person's tragedy or situation. So change in effect becomes our nemesis, even though it is also a much-needed and powerful action for good as well.

But what happens when the change becomes so overwhelming that all that can be felt is pain? It sears your very core and then the lingering heat is left to flow through every un-touched part of you. In it's wake is a mutation of who you  once thought you were. Everything just hurts. And bad. Then what? That's where the choice becomes one's own. No one can dictate a proper response to another's given situation (which is why there are so many different books and ideas, but still no answers). Some shut down, fall into depression, or end their own lives. Others pretend nothing ever happened and stuff the pain by playing "tough," while being very unhappy people. And some overcome with a "what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger" outlook. 

Where does that leave me? I know I have a destiny beyond just surviving so it is not an option to allow any amount of pain to become so crippling that I am not a shining light for Christ. I also have the knowledge and comfort of knowing that every circumstance in my life is sovereignly orchestrated, and there is a purpose for each hurt and sorrow. But it's getting though the day to day with the weight of the grief and sadness that is the struggle for me. The tears that threaten to overflow at inopportune times, and the inability to practically function... that's what's hard. No one has to tell me that these are the things that will purify and refine me in my faith - I know all that and have tested it to be true. How does that tangibly help though? It doesn't. It's the simple gestures from loved ones that help ease the ache of the day to day; the unexpected package in the mail, the simple effort of a call, and the verbal affirmation over my life. Boiling point: surviving and thriving through the hurts of life for me entails a few things. 1) Complete absorbance and trust in my Savior 2) Support shown from my friends and family. 

When you're in pain, be strong. Push through the growing pains to emerge into a butterfly. Allow God to carry the burden of your pain, but let yourself grieve. Don't doubt with "whys," but be comforted with God's arms around you wiping every tear that falls. Find joy in the little things of life and don't take a moment for granted. Express your emotions to others and don't be afraid to ask for help. And whether it is you or someone else in a tough spot, remember that no one has all the right answers of what to do... when life hurts.